Since returning from Eastern Europe, I am asked several times a day about my trip. I have never been at a loss for words, but this trip has rendered me speechless. I am just unable to articulate the depths of emotions and feelings. I can try to describe what I saw, but my words are too shallow. They can’t plunge to the depths I dropped. If I can share one picture that I carry daily, it’s this one. Imagine this room is over 90 degrees with no breeze. Can you smell the urine and sweat? There is a playground right out the doors, but these children do not leave, they are “malformed”. The staff member you see on the bench was there because the American lady was in the room next door. See the baby in the crib? She repeatedly banged her head on the crib rails and mattress for over two hours. See the child slumped on the floor? She barely moved, sitting slumped on the floor for two hours. At one point her sightless eyes lifted and she turned her head toward the light, but then she closed herself down to resume her internal dialogue. The worker never picked up a child or talked to them. No noises but the scratchy children’s record playing too loudly. See all the toys? They are not played with and they were brought out because I was there. I saw them quickly bring in a bag, when I walked in. Here’s my picture and here’s the burden I carry every day. I am not okay. This picture haunts me in my sleep and walks with me through my day. This picture holds my heart as I walk through our country and the embarrassment of riches that I feel.
Let me drop every pretense of being a strong person. Right now I carry a burden and it is crushing me beneath the weight. I am praying for God’s direction and guidance. I am asking for God to use me and my family on a larger scale. So, what can I articulate, what can I tell you? I can tell you that right now I am lost. I can tell you that I am not going to stand by and watch this happen. I will not grab my son and turn my back on these other children. I know that God has plans for me and boldly I say that God has plans for me in that orphanage. The funny part is, is that I swore I would never go back. I swore that Darren could go on pickup trip into that orphanage and I’d wait in the car for him to rescue our son. Funny isn’t it? How many have heard that God doesn’t give us more than we can handle Everyday I sat with my son in that orphanage, I had to mentally restrain myself from running out the doors. I could not handle what I was experiencing and my heart and mind were bucking and revolting. When I left on the last visit day, it was like an oppressive blanket was lifted off my heart, and I determined that I was never going back. Well, my friends, I am going back and I need you to go back with me.
How, you ask?
1. Go before me in prayer. I need you to pray with us that God will open doors for me to provide medical equipment and staff education. This was how I got in the back rooms last time, I believe it is key to opening doors to help these children. The staff was very open and asked me to teach them how to assess the respiratory needs of their sickest children and also they asked if I could find them some NG tubes to help feed the sickest babies. Currently they are reusing the tubes they have. Yes, these tubes go down the noses into a baby’s tummy to give them nutrition if they can’t swallow. They are reused among all the babies. This is especially true for the “lying down room”, where the children never move and are not held. I was told they are there to die This room just about killed me, with the sound of babies moaning as they were left untouched and alone. I reached out and touched the sweet baby in the picture below and he startled and flinched from my hand. He was not used to being touched and talked to.
2. They also need positioning pillows for the bedridden children. These children cannot move and have horrible bed sores. I asked if they had any pillows to reposition the children; they brought out a large chair cushion and asked if it would work. So, I’m going to come up with some type of homemade positioning aids to show the staff how to move the children every 2 hours to prevent bed sores.
3. I need liquid children’s vitamins and children’s ibuprofen. Simple, yet easily can make a world of difference. My son shows signs of vitamin deficiency in his ridged, brown teeth and rust colored hair. Toenails do not grow when the nutrition is so poor and lacking in vitamins.
4. I have some contacts among the medical community and they are helping order supplies that will be used in the orphanage and not sold for profit once I leave. Every penny I raise beyond being funded is helping me pay for the medications and equipment. Support our adoption, click here.
5. Lastly go to www.reecesrainbow.org and pick a child to pray for, you can even request to be their Prayer Warrior. These are orphans with a name and a face. You can be their family, until one is found.
PS- We are only $3000.00 away from being fully funded!!! Jehovah Jireh