On the first day of school, I introduced Joel’s third grade class to Blackbeard the Bearded Dragon. BlackBeard has limb difference because he was bullied and attacked by other lizards. They hurt him and he lost a foot and several claws. To save his life, BlackBeard was placed in an ‘orphanage for lizards’ that houses reptiles that can no longer be cared for by their owners.
BlackBeard grew stronger as he was cared for by the staff, and was soon ready for a new home. We adopted him in 2013, and he has since become the fastest cricket eater in the West, with a tongue that is faster than the eye can see. BlackBeard has no idea that he is missing a foot, so we don’t stare or point at him. He doesn’t like eating his vegetables, but he loves being held and carried around outside.
I explained how BlackBeard may look different on the outside, but he is ALL-Lizard on the inside. He eats like a lizard, he thinks like a lizard, and he has lizard hopes and dreams…mainly of crickets. I then explained that there are lots of people that also look different on the outside. Some may be like BlackBeard and have limb differences or need wheelchairs, or prosthetics, or walkers. And I keep talking about all the differences that they might see. Children with Down syndrome, or Spina Bifida, children that may respond differently because they have autism. There is all kinds of different in this world; people with different colored skin, different eyes, different abilities to talk, walkers to walk, wheelchairs to roll. There are children with no hair, without an ear, without an arm.
And the students in his class, began sharing about the people they know that are different. Uncles without a leg, or a grandma that is blind. And this allowed them to relate different to someone they love and it’s not scary. I end with how we find friendship with the heart; not the eyes.
Maybe you can take a moment to teach your children about BlackBeard and about Joel. Teach your children that many people look different. Show them pictures of people that look different. And then explain that it is not okay to stare at someone that looks different, it’s not okay to point. Teach them that my Joel is the same on the inside as your child is. He loves Dodge Ram trucks, and Minecraft, and digging in the dirt. He loves ketchup, but does not love broccoli. And mostly, he does not like people staring or pointing out that he looks different. I don’t think he needs this pointed out, it’s something he lives with everyday.
Then introduce them to Joel’s friends-
This is Callum, he is 7 years-old. Born with a Tessier cleft, he can’t close his left eye which means for the last 7 years we’ve woken to alarms through the night every 3 hours to put gel in his eye to stop it drying out. Tiring to say the least. He’s had 3 surgeries to correct it but none successful. All that said… we get on with life and he’s a happy kid who enjoys school. He’s so beautiful. #joelsfriend
This is Carter. He is a bright and happy 4 year old boy and full of life! He has Spina Bifida so he wears braces and uses crutches, walker or wheelchair to get around since his legs are weak. He loves paw patrol, movies, swimming, Mac n cheese and playing with friends! He is also very independent so when people try to help he usually likes to try himself first so don’t take it personally. #joelsfriends
This is Dia, she is blind. She likes to deadlift, and is the toughest dog on the block. #joelsfriends
This is Israel, he was born with Spina Bifida. He uses a wheelchair to get around because his legs do not work. A good thing to know, is that you should never grab someone’s wheelchair without asking. It would be like me grabbing your legs to make you go somewhere. So always ask before pushing someone. Israel loves mac and cheese and bananas. His favorite movie is minions. Israel is in Kindergarten and his favorite subject is the playground!
This is Connor. He was born with a very rare genetic disease called Koolen de Vries Syndrome, which is a micro deletion on the 17th chromosome. There at only about 500 known diagnoses cases worldwide, all affectionately referred to as “Kool Kids”. Connor is tough as nails and brings a lot of joy to all who meet him. Connor loves Disney princesses, battles, superheroes, any guy in a uniform, and pretty girls! His hero is Martin Luther King. Consider Connor a friend of Joel’s!
This is Thor. Thor is deaf and his owners use sign language to communicate with him. Thor is a friend of Joels.
This is Rosa! She loves to play outside, wants to drive a red car, and enjoys the Trolls movie! She also has a Tessier facial cleft. She has incredibly expressive eyes and a beautiful smile! Rosa has a huge heart and loves her family so, so well! #joelsfriends
This is Laguna the bunny. He was born with malformed legs, and this means he can’t hop like other bunnies. However Laguna is a sweet bunny and has no idea he is different. HE IS SOOOOO FLUFFY! #joelsfriends
This is Zane. He was born without an esophagus, and had to wear a bag or diaper around his neck for 4 years until it was corrected. His chest was also concave and gave his torso a very different look, which was also recently changed. He still has a g-tube, a metal bar in his chest, and looks like a 2 year old, even though he’s 4! He loves pizza, playing with cars, bikes, and bugging his sister! #joelsfriends
This is my Radi, a regular kid whose legs and feet did not develop properly. It’s a condition called PFFD. He can walk on what God gave him for a while, but also uses prosthetics, and a wheelchair for long distances. He’d like folks to know that his upper body is extra strong because he has to use it more.
This is Katie. She was born with a very rare condition called Arhina which means she was born without a nose or nasal passages. She was also born with very small eyes and is blind. She loves to dance and sing and music is her very favorite thing in the whole world! #joelsfriends
I have worked with children my whole life. I have found that teaching acceptance, compassion and kindness must be intentional. As a parent, this can be done by not missing out on an opportunity to have your children interact with someone who is different. The more they are exposed to different, the less it becomes a big deal. Children can learn to see ‘different’, and look past the outside and see the heart. This can be accomplished by making friends who are different. If you’d like to be Joel’s friend, please feel free to leave a picture or a comment. 
There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you. We stick together and can see it through. Cause you’ve got a friend in me.
Andy – Toy Story